Today was a pretty happy day for us. After 3 years, Holly got her mediport out.  For those that don't know, a mediport  is a device that gets implanted (in this case, in Holly's chest) and then a line runs into a vein.  The purpose is so that when drugs (in this case chemo) get administered regularly, they don't need to use the veins in your arm for IV's. It is kind of weird watching the nurse jam a needle in Holly's chest, but the result was a lot better. The device was about the size of a silver dollar and I was expecting it to be about the size of a quarter.  We obviously got to keep it.  We threw it away right away because it was filled with formaldehyde, but it was cool for me and the kids to see it. The important part of the whole thing is that it is kind of closure for us.  There will always be memories of some hard times that we went through and some physical scars, but getting this device out, an obvious lump in her chest is one more step to getting on with our lives.

Holly always hated the picture on the old site. I liked it and the idea of creating a new header was just not that appealing to me. Last week, on probably the best day of our lives, the Wordpress & k2 totally lunched on me. Technically, it was all K2, but I was pissed at the internet in general and couldn't make things work properly. Today, JJ backed up Wordpress for me and I nuked the whole thing. My prior WP theme was K2, and despite it blowing up on me for no known reason, I'm still a little partial to it and wanted to keep it. What I didn't want to do was spend a bunch of time designing something. CSS really isn't my forte and the thought of spending hours on a lazy, rainy Sunday was less than appealing. So I kept it clean, kept it simple and got it launched. If you've been to the site the past couple of days, you've probably noticed that it was pretty messed up. Sorry. Should be good now. New look for a new chapter on life.

We haven't posted anything in a while. Part of this is due to me having a new job. I've been pretty heads down. Part of it is that I don't need the reminder. It seems like each time I turn on the radio or the television, someone has been diagnosed with cancer or has died from cancer or is somewhere in between (media should do a better job of highlight survivors, but that is a different rant). I don't want the reminder. Holly is starting to slowly, very slowly feel better, that it is easy to sometimes forget about our situation. Part of it is that we are on pins and needles about Holly's PT scan on 2/12. We, of course, can only have positive vibes, but in the back of our heads, it is hard not to think of the alternative. At this very second, Holly is walking the dog downtown to get bagels and OJ for breakfast. She is persistent in her exercise routines, hitting the gym a few times a week. She isn't running yet, but at least getting a few miles in. Yoga and light weights helping too. She is still tired, though and, periodically, the effects of chemo hit her unexpectedly. The road to recovery is a long one. We believe that we are on the right track. I guess will know after the scan. Thanks, Eric, for the plug.

Happy new year. Thank you very much for all of the kind words. The pox I wrote about last time has left our house. I'm feeling better. More importantly, Holly is awake. It is almost 8:00 and Holly is awake!!! It is really nice as it hasn't happened in a while. the chemotherapy has just crushed her system and by 5 o'clock or so, she has just been spent. We celebrated the New Year by her taking the last of her Xeloda. The last week or so of treatment was really brutal. Thankfully, I was off of work so I was able to take care of the kids. Holly was literally not able to get out of bed for about 7 or 8 days. It was really no fun to watch her go through it. The good news is that we are through it. Well, almost through it. I don't suppose it is ever really over. Now it is the healing process. Over the next 6 weeks, Holly will be building back her strength. She is dying to get to the gym and to start running again. On or around February 15th, she has a PT Scan to make sure that all of the cancer is out of her system. She also will more than likely have a colonoscopy around the same time (so that week will be crappy - get it?). We also find out if she was accepted for the 2009 Colondar. Fingers crossed on that one. It has been almost a year since Holly was diagnosed. It has been a brutal year. I'm glad it is over. Here is to 2008 being better.

Wow, that's just about all we can say. Wow. Thank you very much for all of the kind words, positive thoughts, awesome vibes and everything else that everyone has sent our way over the past week. I've been really busy with work, so I apologize for not writing sooner, but we are simply amazed at all of the amazing support that everyone has given us. The video has received over 4,000 views on YouTube and MetaCafe. The comments on the site and personal emails have been wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Holly beat my ass up the Dam today, all the while teasing me that I'm getting beat by a girl with cancer. Not my finest moment in physical fitness history. If you know the trail, you know that it isn't a simple walk in the park. It's nickname, the Dammit, is due to the fact that it runs up and around the Lexington Reservoir Dam. It is also what hikers repeat as they make their way up the steep inclines. There is a 5 mile race each year which proclaims:

"This course is rough, rocky, dusty, with very steep uphill terrain and narrow trails," the race flier warns. "Don't underestimate its difficulty--this is not a race for the faint of heart or the timid."

Holly did great. It was good to see her out and

Holly's family has an amazing cabin in Bass Lake, CA. It's one of those very rustic places that has been in the family almost 100 years. The photo above was taken one morning from the porch. The place is just awesome and it is Holly's most favorite place on the planet. I spent last weekend up there and then had to travel for work. Holly and the kids spent the remainder of the week up there with her sister. When she is up there, one of her favorite things to do is swim across the lake. From the house to the close side, it is about 1,000 yards round trip. In the past, she has done it everyday. This year, she tried to swim, went for a short jaunt with her brother, but the neuropathy was just too much to handle in the cold water. No swimming, even wading in knee deep was uncomfortable. Cancer sucks.

With any luck, in 24 hours I'll be looking at the same thing. I've heard that our internet connection in our house is out so we'll be off the grid for a while too. Until we get back, Aloha & mahalo Photo by Robin Thom, but hopefully I'll have something similar.

Dr. Uyei, our oncologist, is an amazing person. We've really been fortunate to have so many amazing doctors through this debacle. Unfortunately, as much as we like Dr. Uyei, we are going to have to go and see her every 3 weeks for the next six months. At the beginning of the year, we booked a trip to Hawaii. We figured by this point, we'd be well passed all this cancer stuff and moving on with our lives. We also figured, correctly, that we'd need a vacation. But when doesn't a trip to Hawaii sound justified? Since Holly's first surgery, the doctors have been pushing us hard to start the second round of chemo as early as possible. The general feeling is that this would be when the cancer cells are most vulnerable. As regular readers know, we hit a bunch of snags and we couldn't do any chemo. So we were slated to start the first round of adjunct therapy this Monday. Ugh, the last thing that we wanted to do was to be in Hawaii, sick and far away from the doctor. We met with Dr. Uyei and she explained that you want to start chemotherapy as soon as possible after surgery. Apparently, some college types of done studies showing that you need to strike hard within 3 months. So that is the plan, however, Dr. Uyei also explained that the side effects will be strongest after the first treatment. So our window is closing. Thankfully, she didn't want us to be too far away from her office during our first treatment, so she put us on hold until the 23rd. This is great news for us as it gives us another couple of weeks to enjoy being fairly healthy, gain weight (her, not me), and enjoy our vacation. The 23rd, Holly begins her adjunct chemotherapy. This includes the Xeloda, twice a day. This is the same one she was on before, though a higher dosage, so we are really hoping that the side effects are minimal. Also, we need to go to the oncology center once every three weeks for a 90 minute drip of Oxaliplatin. This is the great unknown for us. I kind of feel like we are playing Russian Roulette with this one. I've heard that the side effects are fairly passive and I've heard just the opposite. Hopefully, since Holly is young and strong, it will be minimal. We need a bit of a break. So there you have it. Gain weight, work out, Hawaii, chemo, get on with life. Since Holly has been home from the hospital, we've really been enjoying her getting healthy and our new home. A month ago, she could barely make it out of the front door and now she is going to the gym, so the baby steps have led to a marathon.

We met with the surgeon on Monday (sorry, for not writing sooner, work, family & all) and things are progressing well. Holly has gained 10 pounds and her incision is looking better each day. She (and as a result me) is still on a high calorie diet including ice cream, milk shakes and margaritas. Dr. Yuon tweaked her fiber intake a bit in hopes of decreasing the frequency of the bathroom trips. Every day is a little bit better for us. Tomorrow, she and I are going to hit the gym for the first time since her first surgery. We had an amazing 4th at the beach. Weather in SF was phenomenal. Of course, I forgot our camera, but it was a rare, warm, non-windy day at Baker Beach.