Hope for Holly http://hopeforholly.com Most recent posts at Hope for Holly posterous.com Tue, 27 Jul 2010 03:55:24 -0700 Finally, The Port Is Out... http://hopeforholly.com/2010/07/finally-the-port-is-out http://hopeforholly.com/2010/07/finally-the-port-is-out
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Today was a pretty happy day for us. After 3 years, Holly got her mediport out.  For those that don't know, a mediport  is a device that gets implanted (in this case, in Holly's chest) and then a line runs into a vein.  The purpose is so that when drugs (in this case chemo) get administered regularly, they don't need to use the veins in your arm for IV's. It is kind of weird watching the nurse jam a needle in Holly's chest, but the result was a lot better. The device was about the size of a silver dollar and I was expecting it to be about the size of a quarter.  We obviously got to keep it.  We threw it away right away because it was filled with formaldehyde, but it was cool for me and the kids to see it. The important part of the whole thing is that it is kind of closure for us.  There will always be memories of some hard times that we went through and some physical scars, but getting this device out, an obvious lump in her chest is one more step to getting on with our lives.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Tue, 12 Aug 2008 05:31:39 -0700 An Amazing Update http://hopeforholly.com/2008/08/an-amazing-update http://hopeforholly.com/2008/08/an-amazing-update
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I realize that it has been a while since I've updated this site. After we got our last test results, Holly and I had a huge sigh of relief and began putting our lives back together. Life has been slowly getting back to normal. Holly is healthy, but still has some of the side effects associated with chemo. Mostly, they are digestive issues, but there are some weird ones too. She gets really motion sickness now and that is weird, especially during long trips. Even happens on flights. Last year, when we were at the lake, Holly couldn't swim across it due to the neuropathy. For her, this was a heart breaker as it it is a tradition that she and her sister have. They typically wake up every morning, have a light bite to eat and swim across. It is about 1,000 meters total to the close side and back. But lately, she and her sister have been scoping out another place to swim to. They picked out a point about 2.5 miles away, across the far side of the lake, that they decided to swim to and then they were planning on running home (about 5 miles). Honestly, I envisioned this as being all talk, but this morning, around 9:00, Holly, her sister and brother-in-law walked down the beach, into the water and started swimming. Her nephew went along in a kayak to make sure that they were all okay. Holly's brother-in-law, a regular marathoner, came home about an 1:45 later. Holly's sister came home about 2 hours later. At the 2:15 point, I started out to look for her and found her half a block from our house, still running. A bit tired, but smiling like I've not seen in a long time. As she was sipping a drink that I brought her, she simply said, 'I had to see if I could still do it. I feel like it is something that I was taken away from me and I just took it back.' I'm always proud of her, but this morning, I was especially so.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Fri, 16 May 2008 16:12:35 -0700 Willow Glen Relay for Life - The Twitter Bot http://hopeforholly.com/willow-glen-relay-for-life-the-twitter-bot http://hopeforholly.com/willow-glen-relay-for-life-the-twitter-bot This weekend, Willow Glen (our neighborhood) is having it's annual Relay for Life sponsored by the American Cancer Society. Holly and I have a lot to be thankful for and she and some friends have formed a team and have raised almost $5,000 in funds for ACS! There are going to be close to 1,000 people in attendance this weekend including almost 700 walkers, plus their families & friends. Despite the prediction for record temperatures in the Bay Area, it should be a really excellent time. That is a lot of people though and I'm sure that some of them won't be able to find one another, or share their ideas, their feelings, where they are and what they are up to. With that in mind, I've created a simple Twitter echo bot. If you are going to be attending the event, I invite you to sign up for it and share messages. If you aren't familiar with Twitter, it is a service that asks a simple question 'What are you doing?' Users respond and conversations arise. A Twitter Echo Bot simply publishes what you've written and relays it to everyone who follows the bot. In other words, if you share that you are looking forward to meeting friends at Relay for Life, this message goes to everyone who subscribes to the bot. This weekend, the hopes are that it gives people the ability to meet up with some friends both old and new. If you are living in Willow Glen and happen to be at the Relay for Life this weekend, do this: * 1. Sign up for Twitter * 2. Follow WGxRelay - To get the most out of this on Saturday, follow by your phone * 3. Send your updates of where you are to the community by texting @WGxRelay to 40404
For example, send this type of message to 40404 - @WGxRelay At the track, looking forward to seeing everyone.
Couldn’t be simpler, so sign on up. If you are in the Willow Glen area this weekend, please stop on by the relay. I'll look too see your status coming through @WGxRelay.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:18:00 -0700 Giving Thanks http://hopeforholly.com/2008/03/giving-thanks http://hopeforholly.com/2008/03/giving-thanks

Thank you. Two words. Doesn't seem like enough to say for the support you've given Scott and my family. We feel blessed to be cancer free, but know this journey is far from over. We're celebrating, but it's hard not to worry about the road ahead. We're taking it one day at a time.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Mon, 25 Feb 2008 04:49:20 -0800 It's a New Look http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/its-a-new-look http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/its-a-new-look Holly always hated the picture on the old site. I liked it and the idea of creating a new header was just not that appealing to me. Last week, on probably the best day of our lives, the Wordpress & k2 totally lunched on me. Technically, it was all K2, but I was pissed at the internet in general and couldn't make things work properly. Today, JJ backed up Wordpress for me and I nuked the whole thing. My prior WP theme was K2, and despite it blowing up on me for no known reason, I'm still a little partial to it and wanted to keep it. What I didn't want to do was spend a bunch of time designing something. CSS really isn't my forte and the thought of spending hours on a lazy, rainy Sunday was less than appealing. So I kept it clean, kept it simple and got it launched. If you've been to the site the past couple of days, you've probably noticed that it was pretty messed up. Sorry. Should be good now. New look for a new chapter on life.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Fri, 22 Feb 2008 05:16:00 -0800 Enough About Us http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/enough-about-us http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/enough-about-us This summer, our friend Brian Dowd is riding in the 2008 Livestrong Challenge. It is an amazing cause, and in my home town. Brian is raising money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. If you can, please see his site, what he is working on and support his cause.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Thu, 21 Feb 2008 22:28:46 -0800 Yikes http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/yikes http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/yikes Sorry for the ugly look. I got an email from Bridget today saying that she couldn't access the site. Apparently my K2 install got corrupted. Candidly, I love Wordpress, but I'm about done with futzing with it and the slow performance that I get from hosting on my own server. It is sort of a pain in the ass. This is probably the proverbial straw.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Thu, 21 Feb 2008 04:41:38 -0800 Totally Cancer Free!!! http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/totally-cancer-free http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/totally-cancer-free 380 days ago, Holly was diagnosed with Stage III colo-rectal cancer. I am ecstatic to report today that the PT Scan that she had last week showed no traces of cancer in her system. We are still in a bit of a haze of happiness, so I don't really know what to write beyond that. Thank you very much for all of the inspiration, help, support, guidance, caring and everything that everyone from this community have given us throughout this ordeal. I'll write more after my head clears a bit. In short, this is just the beginning of another chapter that is our life with cancer. We still have blood tests, PT Scans, colonoscopies and the worry that it could come back. But like so many other people who have fought through this, we have survived. It was a really, really rough year, but Holly is a fighter and a survivor. I've never been so proud of anyone in my life.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Tue, 19 Feb 2008 19:29:11 -0800 Colon Cancer Free!!!! http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/colon-cancer-free http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/colon-cancer-free I've been waiting too long to write that. The results of this mornings colonoscopy were positive negative. No cancer in the colon. The hard part is that we want to be excited, but not too much as the results of the PT scan come down tomorrow. This is a good start, though.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:18:46 -0800 It's Probably Nothing http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/its-probably-nothing http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/its-probably-nothing I'm not a morning person. If I had my druthers, I'd sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon and stay up all night. So when the alarm went off at 5:30 to get ready to go the surgery center, I had one of those 'Whoa is me' moments. I snapped out of it pretty quickly, but it still sucks. Most people my age aren't waking up to take their wives to the surgery center for the First Annual Colonoscopy. At the same time, it provided me with a bit of perspective that I always need when I start feeling that way. It could be a whole lot worse. As I walked back from grabbing coffee this morning, there was an amazing sunrise over San Jose. There was too much urban blight (freeways, light posts, traffic) to grab a decent photo with the camera phone, but the cloud cover was under the mountain tops and the sun came through the splits in the mountains and provided a really pretty backdrop to an odd morning. It is weird to be blogging while Holly is in surgery. Everyone is sure that things are clear. That this is routine. Just making sure. But that is what they said last time we were here and we all know how that ended. So we wait. I should get results on the scope in about 30 minutes. We get the results of the PT scan tomorrow afternoon. Like our friend Beth at YouTumor said, it isn't the tests that we fear, it is the results. So the waiting game is on. I hope that the surgeon is more of a morning person than I am. 5 Things I'm Happy About: Best surgeon in the area working on my wife Good insurance covers an expensive operation for $60 Good job provides good insurance Kids are with grandpa having an awesome time It is February and it has been in the 70's and sunny the past week and a half P.S. I just realized that my writing is pretty terrible until after lunch.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Wed, 13 Feb 2008 06:15:06 -0800 My Wife Is Glowing http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/my-wife-is-glowing http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/my-wife-is-glowing
The first tests started today. Holly had her PET Scan. Next week is another colonoscopy and then the results of both next Wednesday. So now we wait. One thing that I found really interesting was that they told her not to get too close to people for about 24 hours. I guess, due to the radioactive isotopes that are used to find tumors, she is pretty hot right now, in a much more literal sense. While I've been hoping for super powers, all she ended up with is a stomachache. Maybe tomorrow morning she will be able to heat coffee by looking at it.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Tue, 12 Feb 2008 00:16:49 -0800 Four Days Until Barry Baby! http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/four-days-until-barry-baby http://hopeforholly.com/2008/02/four-days-until-barry-baby The countdown begins.... We don't have the actual tickets yet, but I'm thinking front row with a possibility of a backstage hang-out. We'll find out the night of the concert. My sister, partner-in-crime, and fellow fannilow and I have it all planned out... -Hit Anthropology for the perfect outfit -Yummy dinner -Concert - Involves singing all the words, dancing to every song, possible tears of joy -Drinks with Barry and the band :) -Comfy night in a nice hotel -Wake up, warm bath, and a fun adventure in Santa Cruz. I can't thank Scott enough for making the arrangements. He's simply wonderful. Oh, and as far as the cancer goes. It still lurks and makes itself known with the upcoming tests and times of feeling crappy, BUT for now I'm just excited about a fun night of forgetting. We'll have the test results on the 20th.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:14:50 -0800 One Year http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/one-year http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/one-year One year ago today, 3 stupid little words changed our lives forever. You have cancer. We didn't even really know what that meant. There is no good kind of cancer, but we really didn't know what to expect. We understood that it would be tough, but like any journey, you don't really know what you are in for until you go down the path. Now is a great opportunity for me to be down and talk about how horrible the past year has been, but we were reflecting on it over the weekend. In the past year, while being sick sucks, we've done more than most people and are insanely grateful for it all. It's been hard at times, depressing at times, frustrating at times and just sad a lot. In short, it has been long. 365 days doesn't seem that long, but this past year kind of drug on. For me, the biggest challenge is to consistently watch someone you love be so sick. For Holly, less than being sick, is just how much cancer has taken from her. Time from her family, time from her friends, fun nights out, cool day trips. The little things that most of us take for granted are so dependent on her health. It just sucks. It's been a long year, but we are confident that 2008 will be better. We are confident that her health will be better than it was pre-diagnosis. We know that it will take a lot of time, but we are confident that, like so many other people, we will prevail against this.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:46:02 -0800 The F Word http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/the-f-word http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/the-f-word
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Holly doesn't really curse. I pride myself in being able to leverage profanity like a fulcrum to emphasize my points. I can make up curse words like an artist uses mixed medium to create master pieces. Holly just stares at me with disappointment for not being more creative and using a deeper variety of less offensive words to get my point across. But lately, 'Fuck' has crept into the vernacular at the Schnaars household. As in, 'this fucking sucks'. Our kids haven't started saying it yet, but after being under the weather for a year, there really isn't a good synonym that accurately reflects the feeling. What works for you? Photo by Ted and Liz.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Sat, 26 Jan 2008 16:05:25 -0800 Be Kind http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/be-kind http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/be-kind
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We haven't posted anything in a while. Part of this is due to me having a new job. I've been pretty heads down. Part of it is that I don't need the reminder. It seems like each time I turn on the radio or the television, someone has been diagnosed with cancer or has died from cancer or is somewhere in between (media should do a better job of highlight survivors, but that is a different rant). I don't want the reminder. Holly is starting to slowly, very slowly feel better, that it is easy to sometimes forget about our situation. Part of it is that we are on pins and needles about Holly's PT scan on 2/12. We, of course, can only have positive vibes, but in the back of our heads, it is hard not to think of the alternative. At this very second, Holly is walking the dog downtown to get bagels and OJ for breakfast. She is persistent in her exercise routines, hitting the gym a few times a week. She isn't running yet, but at least getting a few miles in. Yoga and light weights helping too. She is still tired, though and, periodically, the effects of chemo hit her unexpectedly. The road to recovery is a long one. We believe that we are on the right track. I guess will know after the scan. Thanks, Eric, for the plug.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Wed, 16 Jan 2008 06:46:47 -0800 The Chemo Hangover http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/the-chemo-hangover http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/the-chemo-hangover I think that both Holly & I had pretty lofty expectations when she stopped taking her Xeloda. While I'm sure that we knew, in the back of our heads that it wouldn't be rosy on day one, I think that we were hoping for some miracle bounce back. That really isn't the case. I was trying to explain how chemo works to a friend recently. Fortunately, it was at a New Years Eve party so that made things easy. Let's say that chemotherapy is the equivalent of the beer that he was drinking. One beer, not so bad. Seven or eight beers, you'll really be feeling it. 10 or 12 and you're getting a tiny sliver of what is going on. Not only will you feel effects of the 12 beers when you are worshiping the porcelain god, but you'll also be feeling it for a good chunk of the next day. Holly has a chemo hangover. She seems like she is getting a negligibly better each day, but it is still hard for her. She still has, and will probably have for a long time, the side effects of the chemo. Tired, nausea, tingles, neruopathy, nasty stuff. Unlike booze, no amount of Gatorade will flush it from her system. It is one of those things, like so many other things with cancer, that fucking sucks (which has now become our favorite phrase, more on that soon).

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Wed, 16 Jan 2008 06:31:05 -0800 Writing Tired http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/writing-tired http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/writing-tired Last night is a perfect example of what happens when I'm really tired and try to write a post. I can't come up with words, so I write things that are a bit cryptic and confusing. The long story behind that is that I bumped into a friend from high school on Flickr the other day. In catching up, of course the cancer conversation comes up. Rather than try to explain how crappy things are, I tried to explain how unbelievably supportive and selfless the cancer community is. (As an aside, we need to come up with a better name than cancer community.) It is really cool.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Tue, 15 Jan 2008 06:36:52 -0800 Thank You http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/thank-you-2 http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/thank-you-2 Thank you to everyone who reads this blog. ...to everyone that forwards it to someone that finds it helpful. ...to everyone that has helped us. ...to everyone that leaves a comment. ...to everyone that sends positive thinking. ...to everyone that has answered our questions or quelled our thinking. ...to everyone in the cancer community who has been so incredibly supportive during the past year. The overwhelming support that we've received has been incredible. Thank you.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Fri, 11 Jan 2008 03:22:02 -0800 Apologies - Site Hacked http://hopeforholly.com/apologies-site-hacked http://hopeforholly.com/apologies-site-hacked To all readers, If you read this site via an RSS reader, you may have noticed a bunch of links in the middle of the last post that didn't really seem a.) relevant and b.) appropriate. I'm not really sure what happened. Malicious links seem to only have been put in that one post, but I apologize if you received it and found these links. I generally keep pretty secure passwords, so I don't think that it was some sort of breach via that route. I don't know enough about what is under the covers of Wordpress or Feedburner that would have generated this to know how to fix it. I've since tightened up my passwords and hope that this is a fluke one time occourance.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars Fri, 11 Jan 2008 00:27:18 -0800 Booby Wall http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/booby-wall http://hopeforholly.com/2008/01/booby-wall
Being in sales & marketing, I love a good ad campaign.  Especially if it is edgy and generates a little (a lot) of controversy.  Today, in Canada (like this would really work in the US), Schick, partnering with Rethink, a breast cancer charity, launched their Booby Wall campaign.  A site that lets Canadian women upload pictures of their breasts in order to generate awareness for breast cancer. The site is part of the TLC campaign, Touch, Look, Check. 

"This is a creative, different, bold, a bit in-your-face way of getting young women's attention," M.J. DeCouteau, executive director at Rethink Breast Cancer told Reuters.

"I wouldn't be surprised if we get a lot of women doing it."

For me, the site is a little bit Flashy (yeah, you geeks know what I mean) and, while the terms specifically call out Canadian women,  I'm not sure how they confirm that (oh, those are definitely American boobs?).

This is one of those campaigns that probably works well for breast cancer, but doesn't translate well.  Maybe for colon cancer, but I just don't see it working for testicular cancer.  That would be like a Craigslist W4M response.

Press release is here.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/23141/scott.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10z8ukPHdiF Scott Schnaars Schnaars Scott Schnaars