Hey cancer, guess what? One week down!!! Take it, sucka. I was all fired up tonight and about to write out a really long tirade about how Sanofi Aventis' marketing department has been taking too much of it's patients vitamin THC, but then I saw the good in the world that is Jo from Life With Heathens. Jo has been really active in the comments recently and has been kind enough to give us a little bit a link love during an interview at BlogsWeLuv. Jo, that was really awesome. Thank you very much. So, as not to offend any new readers, I'll take a deep breath (in with the good), exhale (out with the bad) and let you know that we have one week of chemo down. This is the adjunct treatment in which Holly is on an IV for a couple of hours the first day, takes 2 weeks of pills and then gets a week off. Side effects have included nausea, diarrhea, being tired a lot and neuropathy. She said that it is kind of like being pregnant all the time and your hands hurt when they touch cold things. The neuropathy actually hasn't seemed all that bad. She still is kind of a newbie, so she tried a soda and ice cream and touched cold things. You know how it is when someone tells you not to do something. She did jump into a pool and said that was a bit of a shock, but not terrible. So, we've survived the first week. If things stay like this, it will be January in no time.

If you are interested in cancer and aren't reading Leroy Sievers' posts on NPR, you are doing yourself a huge disservice. Leroy has been posting daily since his diagnosis a year and a half ago. His posts are witty, funny, very sad (at times) and insanely inspirational. In short, he is the type of writer that I aspire to be some day. Having just come back from Hawaii, Holly and I spent the week being visitors. Despite having been to Maui a dozen or so times and have discovered many of the little haunts that the locals go to, it is still very obvious that we are visitors. As much as we try to fit in, we are simply just another out of shape (though not out of shape as most), non-tan, couple from the mainland. Leroy Sievers posted an entry right before we left on being a local at his clinic. He knows where to sit, where to park, who to speak with, where the elevators are and is always willing to help out a visitor. Like visitors to Maui or Newport Beach, we are easy to spot. Knowing that we would be going to the clinic this morning, I carried that post in my head the whole week. I thought quite a bit how awkward it would be to go into the clinic and not really know the drill. Who would help us out? Who would guide us to where to sit? Can we watch movies? Is there wifi (there isn't)? Can we talk on the phone? What do we do first? Can we eat? What, where, who, why, how????? Thankfully, our oncology center, and I suspect that all similar types of facilities, has it's own version of Leroy. People were especially helpful. Even the grumpy nurse (inside joke) seemed more friendly today. They brought lunch in for many of the patients. Many of them had at least one family member with them. People were jovial and everyone went out of their way to make sure that Holly was as comfortable as possible under the circumstances. When it came time to leave, we made our appointment for 3 weeks out, took our card and left. Next time, we will be locals and hopefully we will be able to help out as well.

Well, we did it. Well, I didn't do anything. Technically, Holly did it. She made it through the first round of chemo. I went to Starbucks and Safeway. I did a quick calculation, but 1 infusion every 3 weeks for the next 6 months equals 9 infusions. Only 8 left. Again, it was a quick off the top of my head calculation. It sucks because a couple of months will have 2 infusions in them, but hey, we are 1/9 of the way there. For those of you who are mathematically inclined, 1/9 isn't a fraction you get to use too often. For those of you more pharmaceutically leaning, Ocaliplatin is defined on Wikipedia as such:

Oxaliplatin is a platinum-based chemotherapy drug in the same family as cisplatin and carboplatin. It is typically administered in combination with fluorouracil and leucovorin in a combination known as FOLFOX for the treatment of colorectal cancer. Compared to cisplatin the two amine groups are replaced by cyclohexyldiamine for improved antitumour activity. The chlorine ligands are replaced by the oxalato bidentate derived from oxalic acid in order to improve water solubility. Oxaliplatin is marketed by Sanofi-Aventis under the trademark Eloxatin®.

As I've mentioned a bunch of times, one of the side effects of Oxaliplatin is neuropathy, a condition in which you get extreme sensitivity to cold in your extremities and throat. If you know Holly, you know how much she loves Diet Pepsi and Coke Slurpees (Buzz Squishees). So this pretty much sucks. As a sweet parting gift, though, today we got an Eloxatin branded tote bag, blanket, scarf and mittens so that when she has to grab juice out of the fridge, she doesn't burn her hand (yes, fridge and burn, I know, weird). She also started taking Xeloda daily again. This time, twice as much as last time. I think that it is like a billion milligrams a day or something, but I could just be tired. We also got a sweet DVD with our Xeloda care package. I'm sure that is the feel good film of the summer. Actually, we are thinking about auctioning them both off for some charity. Details to follow. I have to say, the people at the clinic are top notch. Not only the people that work there, but also the patients. While I was moping around with wet eyes, they were all cheerful, friendly and amazingly upbeat. It is impossible to say what it would be like in their shoes. I'd like to think that I would be as strong as all of these people are and treat it as just a minor inconvenience in their day. I'd like to think that I would smile and joke and be my normal jovial self. If you ever need a quick pick me up, drop into the local chemo clinic and spend 30 minutes with a patient. It is positively life altering. Finally, as the cherry on top of our already dog crap sundae, there is a weird image in Holly's chest that showed up on her CT scan. Dr. Uyei said she can't tell what it is, but that no lymph nodes have invaded it yet, so she isn't worried. She does want to do another CT scan in a couple months. Since a regular discussion at our house is which is worse tube down the throat to pump the stomach or the barium enema, I know that she can't wait to go through that again. I'll do a BluBet on that one shortly. Despite it all, Holly's spirits are amazing. She remains the single most positive person I've ever met. She is dealing with the early onset of neuropathy and nausea that come with chemo the way that I would deal with a hang nail or a minor headache. When I was falling apart today at the clinic, she looked at me and said "This is fine. We've been through the worst at the hospital. I'm going home after this. This is all downhill from here." With 8 more treatments to go, it really is all downhill from here.

Last night was the longest flight. Like most people on vacation, after a few days, you tend to adopt an ‘I could probably do this full time’ attitude towards life. It is cozy. We woke up early every morning, walked to the local coffee place, and then hung out on the beach or at the pool. Holly ran a bit. I actually played a lot of tennis. We went to good restaurants and ate like royalty when we cooked at the house. I ate way too many cookies and drank way too much beer. Like I said, it was very comfortable. Maui has always been really special for Holly & me. It was the site of our first real vacation together. We were married there. We’ve gone back every year since. Not necessarily to celebrate our anniversary, but we always go back to the wedding site and share a kiss. A few years ago, I proposed again (correctly, this time) at the same site. It is really awesome. Coming home to your first chemo infusion is not something any one would want to rush home from. Still, all in all, we had a wonderful time. Prior to leaving for Hawaii, we introduced a ‘No Cancer’ rule. We wouldn’t talk about it, mention it, read about and really try hard not to think about it. While, for the most part this was fairly difficult (seeing an 8” incision on her belly makes it hard to keep out of mind), I think that we did a pretty decent job of it. I got reprimanded once for brining it up and giving her ‘sad eyes’. Other than that, it was an awesome vacation and a great chance for us to really forget about all of our troubles for a while. Like I said, it would be really easy to get used to that lifestyle. Joe's Bar and Grill, where we had our rehearsal dinner almost 8 years ago.

With any luck, in 24 hours I'll be looking at the same thing. I've heard that our internet connection in our house is out so we'll be off the grid for a while too. Until we get back, Aloha & mahalo Photo by Robin Thom, but hopefully I'll have something similar.

While we can't be 100% sure, we think that we've become the couple that people talk about before we show up at parties. You know the kind of conversations that I mean. "Hey everyone, gather round. Holly & Scott are coming over. Don't talk about cancer, don't review any movies, and if astrology comes up, you're a Libra." Then all night long, people kind of struggle to come up with conversations with us. "So, um, ah, what's new with you?" And I get it. Talking about cancer sucks. No one wants to be a killjoy at the soiree. But for anyone who reads this that has friends or relatives going through cancer, our feeling is that we'd rather get it off the table early on so that we can have a normal conversation versus getting 'the look' all night long. Having cancer sucks. Having a spouse with cancer sucks. But not talking about it, especially when it is on everyones mind, is no fun either. Most people are open about it. Most people want to educate others. It's okay. Bring it up.

Dr. Uyei, our oncologist, is an amazing person. We've really been fortunate to have so many amazing doctors through this debacle. Unfortunately, as much as we like Dr. Uyei, we are going to have to go and see her every 3 weeks for the next six months. At the beginning of the year, we booked a trip to Hawaii. We figured by this point, we'd be well passed all this cancer stuff and moving on with our lives. We also figured, correctly, that we'd need a vacation. But when doesn't a trip to Hawaii sound justified? Since Holly's first surgery, the doctors have been pushing us hard to start the second round of chemo as early as possible. The general feeling is that this would be when the cancer cells are most vulnerable. As regular readers know, we hit a bunch of snags and we couldn't do any chemo. So we were slated to start the first round of adjunct therapy this Monday. Ugh, the last thing that we wanted to do was to be in Hawaii, sick and far away from the doctor. We met with Dr. Uyei and she explained that you want to start chemotherapy as soon as possible after surgery. Apparently, some college types of done studies showing that you need to strike hard within 3 months. So that is the plan, however, Dr. Uyei also explained that the side effects will be strongest after the first treatment. So our window is closing. Thankfully, she didn't want us to be too far away from her office during our first treatment, so she put us on hold until the 23rd. This is great news for us as it gives us another couple of weeks to enjoy being fairly healthy, gain weight (her, not me), and enjoy our vacation. The 23rd, Holly begins her adjunct chemotherapy. This includes the Xeloda, twice a day. This is the same one she was on before, though a higher dosage, so we are really hoping that the side effects are minimal. Also, we need to go to the oncology center once every three weeks for a 90 minute drip of Oxaliplatin. This is the great unknown for us. I kind of feel like we are playing Russian Roulette with this one. I've heard that the side effects are fairly passive and I've heard just the opposite. Hopefully, since Holly is young and strong, it will be minimal. We need a bit of a break. So there you have it. Gain weight, work out, Hawaii, chemo, get on with life. Since Holly has been home from the hospital, we've really been enjoying her getting healthy and our new home. A month ago, she could barely make it out of the front door and now she is going to the gym, so the baby steps have led to a marathon.

We met with the surgeon on Monday (sorry, for not writing sooner, work, family & all) and things are progressing well. Holly has gained 10 pounds and her incision is looking better each day. She (and as a result me) is still on a high calorie diet including ice cream, milk shakes and margaritas. Dr. Yuon tweaked her fiber intake a bit in hopes of decreasing the frequency of the bathroom trips. Every day is a little bit better for us. Tomorrow, she and I are going to hit the gym for the first time since her first surgery. We had an amazing 4th at the beach. Weather in SF was phenomenal. Of course, I forgot our camera, but it was a rare, warm, non-windy day at Baker Beach.