Archive for May, 2007 Page 3 of 8



Don’t Forget a Sweatshirt

The following takes place between 7PM and 3:30AM. Doot, doot, doot, doot.

It’s actually been a couple of days, but I’ve not had the chance to write.

Just when I thought that I could go a couple of days without writing about any of the drama in our lives, we hit a major problem.

Holly came home from the hospital on Wednesday afternoon and there was much rejoicing. She was doing really well, relaxing, enjoying the new house and generally taking it easy. On Thursday, much of the same. Laying low. On Thursday night around 7, she started to complain about bad cramps in her stomach and that she wanted to lay down. Around 9:00 she was in a lot of pain. Around 11:00, she started to throw up, but, I think, was too scared and sick and tired of being in the hospital that she fought through it. At 12:30, she threw up again and said that the pain was worse than labor. She also had no, literally, output from the ostomy. Her belly was starting to balloon like a Sally Struthers poster child. In short, she exhibited all the symptoms of a blockage. We called the doctor who told us to get her to the hospital as quickly as possible.

One of the really nice things about our house that we should consider when we go to sell it is the proximity to the firehouse. In San Jose, when an ambulance is called, the fire station is the first responder. They can usually get there a bit quicker and have paramedics on staff. We live 3 blocks from the fire station and no sooner had I hung up with 911 then they were at our place. Her BP was in the basement, so they started on oxygen and sodium chloride, which is quickly becoming our life line. 9 people in our house taking care of her is really freaky. ‘Don’t forget to grab a sweatshirt. You know it gets cold in the hospital.’ she hollered as they wheeled her in the ambulance. Always the care giver. Thankfully, somehow the kids didn’t wake through the ordeal. It would have been really scary for them. Sadly, the dog didn’t wake up either. So much for being a good guard dog.

The ambulance left before I did, but we arrived at the same time. Danica would be proud. They immediately gave her some anti-nausea medication and some pain killers. Within 10 minutes, she was a totally different person.

3:00 AM – Holly’s mom lives close by and was able to drive over at 1:00 when we needed her to watch the kids. I drive home to be in the house when the kids wake up. On the way home, I pass a guy out for a leisurely bike ride. That’s odd.

Follow Up - Again, like the previous 2 times we’ve been through this, they did CT Scans, X-rays, blood work, and some head scratching. She has nothing physically wrong with her, however, she is rejecting the ostomy. Dr. Youn has seen this before and elects to reverse the ostomy early.

In the end, of course, they admitted her again. Gave her a ton of IV’s and plan on doing surgery Saturday morning.

Yahoo Over Google

Yahoo!

While I never like to reveille in other peoples misery, I did think that it was funny that Holly and I, in our almost matching Yahoo t-shirts, were given higher priority in the emergency room than a couple in matching Google t-shirts.

I suspect that complications associated with colo-rectal surgery outweighs pretty much everything and I certainly wouldn’t want them to take on our problems, but it was nice to see that Yahoo was given some much needed respect over Google, inadvertent or not.

What Can I Do To Help?

The outpouring of support that we have received has been amazing. Everyone wants to do something to help out. Everyone, without fail, has asked how they can help. People we’ve known for years and total strangers alike, have all offered help. It is amazing, thank you. I really believe that support like this is what has helped humanity survive for 50,000 years.

Here is where I fall down, I’m not good at asking for help, personally. I have no problem at all delegating at work. I suspect that a lot of people in this situation would be the same way. 5 months ago, we were a successful family. We’ve both done well professionally. Have two fairly well adjusted kids. We’ve worked hard and haven’t had to ask for a lot of help, so candidly, we aren’t good at it. We just don’t know how to do it and we don’t want to be a burden or an imposition on anyone.

Our friends and family have done amazing things for us to help out. The majority of it uninitiated. If you know someone in a similar situation, but, like us, doesn’t want ask, my advice is just do something. Don’t ask them, because like us, they will say that they don’t need it. Like Phil Knight said, just do it.

Words can’t express how appreciative we are for what has been done for us. If you are looking for creative ideas, here are some things that our friends have done to help:

  • Countless baby sitting hours. Not assigned or delegated out, just showing up and taking the kids. There are only 24 hours in a day and these breaks are priceless.
  • Meals - Yummy - Holly doesn’t cook too much. I don’t cook at all. A gourmet meal for me is toasting the PB&J. People showing up with dinner is a total score.
  • Dream Dinners and Waiters on Wheels - If you live in the Bay Area and have a job in a big corporate park, you’re probably familiar with these services. I’d suspect that most major cities have something comparable. Essentially, you pick stuff off the menu of local restaurants and WoW delivers. Both my team and our mortgage broker got us gift certificates to these services. It has been great and beats cold cereal for dinner.
  • Massages - My team also bought Holly a very sizable gift certificate to SpaFinder. A national network of spas. We know that you aren’t supposed to get a massage while you are on chemo, but the post treatment / pre-surgery massage is alright.
  • Baby sitting - It deserves a second mention.
  • Nanny service - Having the kids go to a different location every day was too hard on them and too much of a logistical nightmare for me. One of our friends has signed on to be our nanny. It is an unbelievable help.
  • Cleaning service - A friend called us yesterday and said that she and a bunch of Hollys friends chipped in to have a cleaning service come to the house. I came home to a spotless house and Holly will come home tomorrow to an almost spotless house.
  • Baby sitting - It’s that good.
  • Golf - I got a great email from a good friend who suggested that I drop the kids off for the day and go play golf. I don’t need to be asked twice.
  • Company - I saved this one for last. It is great to have company over, especially this past week with Holly being in the hospital. Holly not being in the new house that she and I spent the last year building is lonely & depressing. It is great to have someone come over and hang out and not talk about cancer for a couple of house.
  • This is just the tip of the iceberg. People have helped us move, helped with the house, helped with work. Like I said, I can’t write down all support that we’ve received.

    I write all this not to boast about our incredible base of support. They are amazing and know that and don’t want the recognition. I write this because, if you are reading this, you probably know someone going through something similar. Sadly, if you don’t, you probably will at some point in your life. You probably really want to help, but don’t know what to do. I write this because, hopefully, one of these suggestions will brighten someones life when they really need it most. I know that it is what happened for me.